I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
