Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That's when you crack a 10am beer
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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