he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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