You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
