i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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