I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
