i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
