i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
