can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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