Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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