make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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