You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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