I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
