so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
