it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
