I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
