Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
