dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
