They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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