the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
