And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
