Well apparently he's into motor boating.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
