And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
