The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
