There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
