I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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