At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
