Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
