I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
