You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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