The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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