I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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