I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
