Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I did not marry a roomba.
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