He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
