I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
