Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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