Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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