I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
