I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
third nipple confirmed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
