I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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