Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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