fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
