let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
