love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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