Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
