I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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