Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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