Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
