Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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