maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
