You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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