I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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