It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
